Helicopter Parenting is an accomplished parenting type of parenting - embracing children
In the first article about the style parenting of us, we consider a style that is becoming increasingly popular worldwide: Parenting the style helicopter (helicopter Parenting) for parents Always like a helicopter.
Helicopter parents is a concept that refers to parents who are always hovering around their children to oversee and protect them excessively.
While you may have heard about this parenting method, in this article, we dive into the topic to give you a comprehensive understanding of it. Here are the signs of helicopter parenting, children's influence, alternatives, and more.
“ Helicopter parenting ” involves pouring a huge amount of unhealthy attention into your child's life. As the name implies, parents tend to hover around their children, like a helicopter, even as they get older.
From giving advice all the time to dealing with your child's problems, helicopters go hand in hand with invading your child's life - a lot.
Dr. Lim Boon Leng, a psychiatrist at Gleneagles Hospital, says that raising a helicopter is "an inappropriate thing", as parents are "overprotective, moving around the child. , and being excessively involved in the child's work and activities ”. Almost deprives children of all freedoms.
Even though children grow up and move out, they still need financial and emotional support depending on their mother and father. Sometimes parents use financial aid as the key to control and control their children to do what they want.
Achievement parenting parents - overprotecting children only harms them!
Helicopter parenting style sign
There are many ways to determine if you are a helicopter parent. The helicopter parents have a special mindset, unlike other parents.
Do any of the following signs seem familiar to you?
Achievement parents - helicopter-style parenting believes ...
Your main role as a parent is to minimize pain in your child's life?
Will a smooth life help your child grow up happily?
Can't stand seeing your child experience painful or negative obstacles?
Can you interfere with your child's social life, constantly giving them advice and listening to their problems? Always give, ask, encourage, or even push them to deal with the way you offer because you think it is the best way.
Your children may not be able to handle life's challenges, so do you need to call them to check in, watch, and remind throughout the day until they become anxious?
Achievement parenting parents - overprotecting children only harms them!
Achievement parents - who is a helicopter-raising child….
1. Take complete control of and handle your child's social problems (e.g. arguing with children or other teachers) by talking to someone in charge of solving your problems. caused by the child's problem.
2. Do homework to help your child or point out your child and expect high scores, if not, ask your teacher to review the scores.
3. Teach and talk with your child's teacher after school, tell the teachers what they should do, especially with your child.
4. Keep your child in sight at all times when possible. Always worried about me being like this, that, falling, scratched, mosquito bites….
5. Organize everything from underwear to socks (even if you are a teen), wash and fold clothes, even choose what to wear - even though they are fully self-made. those things.
6. I don't like, don't want and I'm always on my back so I don't take any risks - always afraid of me falling, I'm sick, I'm sick, I'm sick….
7. Don't accept failure in your child. Your child has to be good - it has to be done.
Achievement parenting parents - overprotecting children only harms them!
Why is this kind of accomplished parenting - helicopters not working?
Helicopter parents protect their kids from a wide range of problems, going as far as solving their child's problems and making decisions for them even when they're old enough to do things on their own. this.
Starting from the best and best for their children, helicopter-style parents do everything and keep their kids safe, in fact, they may be harming their development. You are no different from the treasure that your parents keep, you don't need to think - have your parents care, you don't need to do - have your parents make….
Parents' behavior creates a generation of children who are helpless, unable to make even the simplest decisions, without creativity, dullness, not knowing or wanting to do anything, always afraid of doing something wrong. , pain, failure, dare not challenge, do not know how to solve problems. Without the confidence to self-motivate, children of helicopter parents find it harder to be independent at any stage of their life.
Achievement parenting parents - overprotecting children only harms them!
Here's how to be an ineffective helicopter parenting ...
Helicopter parents want to find easy ways to avoid stress, such as by doing their assignments or chores. Did the parent know - some disappointments can be good because it helps your child improve his or her problem-solving skills; While work can teach your kid how to be responsible. Failure is to learn, but parents steal their child's chances of failing to lose.
They think they know how to best guide their child's physical activities. However, when it comes to sports and teamwork, too much hand-holding only detracts from your child's learning experience, such as conflict resolution, cooperation, and leading others towards the category. general spending and dealing with failure. They can only learn these skills by experiencing them for themselves.
Some parents take the opportunity for their children to learn independently when they are always with their children, not leaving their children anymore. However, doing so will only reduce your child's confidence and may even lead to aggression and / or depression, making the child even more self-centered and alienated.
They want to protect their children by not allowing them to take any risks. Life without any risks is nothing exciting, what is learning, and it is this smoothness in life that will hinder one's mental and physical growth. .
They will not accept the child's mistakes, rather than acknowledge that their child has worked hard and fulfilled it. That has refused to give your child a chance to do wrong, redo, learn from experience, try it, don't try it. Trial and permission is one of the first steps every child has the right to - because that is the way they learn, progress, create, and develop the ability to cope with challenges, not to hesitate ... from there. will help children be independent, solve and take responsibility for their own life problems in the future.
Achievement parenting parents - overprotecting children only harms them!
Psychological and emotional effects of helicopter parenting
Sadly, although this helicopter-style parenting is well-intentioned in providing your child with a happy life, it comes with a lot of negative consequences for the kid.
With this perfect grip, your baby can become:
Anxiety and depression lead to depression
Parents can also force unthinkable expectations for their children, and when their children cannot meet their parents' expectations - children become blamed themselves, have low self-esteem. , lose confidence in myself, always worry about fear of doing wrong, damaging, always perfectionist but worrying about every little mistake. Over time, this repetitive behavior can gradually develop into anxiety and depression.
Develop low self-esteem.
Previous studies have shown that children whose parents do not care about their children, or do not give them a chance to improve through trial and error, are at risk of being deemed worthless.
Too dependent on you.
By doing everything for your children instead of letting them figure out how to do it, do it, and fulfill them no matter what, you are creating a state of dependence. Your child will only see you as the solution, even as an adult. Parents should always remember that fighting is really good, because it helps a person learn to do better.
Hot-tempered and impatient with their co-workers.
Parents admitting their power and interfering too much in their children's lives can make them feel as though they are out of control. In response, their children maintain their own influence by becoming irritable when talking to friends.
Overweight.
Parents of helicopters tend to limit their child's physical activity or sports (to avoid injury, mostly). This often leads to children sitting indoors. Most of the time they will be in front of the TV or computer. And this takes away the opportunity to develop social and exercise skills.
Tips to limit the parenting habit of helicopter style
There are many ways to control the signs of a helicopter parenting. Here are some practical tips:
Don't punish mistakes
Trust children with age-appropriate and developmental duties.
Equip your child with the skills needed to complete a task.
Encourage them to make mistakes, but be willing to guide them as they do. The goal is to teach them life lessons so that they can learn to be accountable and accountable.
Observe how your child copes with disappointment before intervening.
It is good for your baby with minor injuries. Remember: the point is to keep him as protected when necessary, not as overprotective, as in a cage - not to scratch anything.
Open communication / approach / child interest
Listen to them attentively, especially when it comes to social conflicts. Support them as they talk and let them express their feelings fully. Then, teach your child to calm themselves and find ways to solve problems.
Reassure your child that you care about their feelings and safety before helping them solve their problem.
Engaging them in conversation stimulates their critical thinking and problem solving skills.
Live true to your parents' feelings - parents are also sometimes difficult, tired, and in pain and let their children see it, seeing that their parents, like me, are also in trouble. You will learn about perseverance, empathy, help - and those qualities that can be built into future success.
Teach them independence
Emphasize how their struggles can be an opportunity to learn and collaborate.
Appreciate the importance of the process over the outcome.
Let your child solve the problem on their own, as it helps them learn to become stronger mentally.
Let them test their limits. Celebrate their efforts, not just success but fulfillment, especially as your child persists through difficult problems.
Start small, and don't push if they can't get it done. Let children discover their own passions.
Teach your children to talk to you or their teacher if they have a problem with them.
Make time for your child to have free time.
Expert advice
Julie Lythcott-Haims is the Dean of the Faculty of Freshman at Stanford University. During her 10 years of university service, she realized that new students increasingly excel at school, but also couldn't take care of themselves.
She identifies her roots as nurturing her kids in this helicopter-style, which can help students perform academically excelling, protecting them from hardship, failure, and disappointment. She points out that such parents are depriving their children of the opportunity to find out who they are, what they love and how to navigate the world.
Lythcott-Haims advises four simple ways to limit helicopter-style parenting:
Independence: Encourage your kids to be independent by asking them to run errands, teaching them to cook for themselves, etc.According to Lythcott-Haimes, here's a good thing: It teaches your kids social skills. values such as self-sufficiency, good work ethic and confidence.
Personality: Don't say “we” to show your child. In order for your children to have important aspects of their lives, allow them to be at the forefront of their dreams and aspirations, so that you don't have to do everything for them.
Trust others: Let your child's senior counselors guide them when needed. By allowing other adults to do what they do best, your child can interact and ask questions independently. You are basically teaching your child how to stand up for themselves.
Come back: Don't do it for me - absolutely no you can do it with your kids but don't do everything for them - it makes them feel powerless (even when they get high scores). Give them the opportunity to show their sense of accomplishment when they finish the work on their own, so that your child also learns to be independent.
Parents, remember that you can participate in your child's life. But cannot protect or advise or replace children for 24 hours / 7 days and throughout life.
References: Today , WebMD , The Atlantic
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