THE MORE YOU SAY, THE MORE THAN DOESN'T UNDERSTANDING - The 15 ways to say it just make me protest !!!
Parents have wondered why their child refuses to follow his instructions? As parents, we become so preoccupied with what we want to teach our children, wanting them to listen to good things according to our opinions and opinions, and we forget to pause for a moment to see the message, the way of speaking. , whether our transport is properly understood to go to their implementation.
THE MORE YOU SAY, THE MORE YOU DO NOT HEAR
In fact, often what we say is the same as telling our children not to listen to us. Amanda Morgan, a mother and educator, has shared tips for parents about why our children are not obeying us.
Sounds like a choice "No"
When Mom and Dad wants you to have dinner, but says, "Do you want dinner?" That way, Mom and Dad don't give instructions about dinner requirements but give your child the option to say “NO”.
Instead give direct instructions and use optimistic words like "Time to finish dinner now, dear" or "I need to have dinner with my family now!".
Wrong image creation!
When we give requests and directions, we often give a mental image of what we want children to do like, "Stop bouncing in a chair!"
Create a visual representation so your child can understand what to do in this case. ”Make sure your butt is on the chair with your feet on the floor, facing the speaker. Let's be sincere listeners to this speaking guest ”. This is the image you want to see from your child, so create an image and convey it to your child like that.
Read more: For children to develop comprehensively
Do not make eye contact when asking or giving orders
Often mothers stand in the kitchen or in the room calling and asking their children to do something. This is like telling you to listen or not, doesn't seem very important because we are not making this request serious by inviting you to come and listen to me when you look into your eyes. So stop yelling, and practice giving your child positive directions by making eye contact with them when talking, asking, or commanding them what to do. Let me know to stop and listen to me.
Say too much!
Children are not able to do many things at the same time, or a job that requires a lot of combined steps in it. So when your child can't do what you say, or don't understand, stop and think about other ways to convey it to understand.
See if I talk too much? Are you giving two or three instructions at the same time? Start one step at a time, speak one instruction, speak loudly, slowly, and clearly, then ask your child to repeat and see if he or she understands the instruction to do so before moving on to the next step.
Don't call your child's name
When you call your child to ask for something, or just to reprimand him, start by calling out his or her name big, loud and clear. This lets them know that you want to talk to them face to face, and asks them to listen.
Say pessimistic, critical / coercive statements
Instead of using positive, optimistic terms, we often use pessimistic words, commands and prohibitions that make our children more resistant. Say "Should I try this?" instead of "Don't do that" or "Don't do it" "You will do it wrong" - "I said you can only do the wrong thing"
Act against words
It is very sad when I cry, Mom? But when you have made a rule or order, you both understand, if the child violates, he or she knows his punishment, avoids giving in or forgetting, this shows the consistency in action and his words.
Remember that you can hug and comfort and sympathize later, and remember that you must follow rules to set an example.
Scold, criticize the child
It is very difficult to control our anger when a child is spoiled, mischievous and disobedient. Explain and analyze the situation to your child, and when explaining, do not use a voice yelling or criticizing the child, this will only counteract the information to be conveyed.
Say when you are angry, crying
Often we make the mistake of talking and explaining to children when they are crying or angry. The more we speak softly, the more you shout to do the opposite.
Let me calm down again, let the negative energies evaporate, when I get back to normal we can ask me to talk about that.
Don't give your child options
Usually we say you wear this outfit, and if you don't like it you will go for your favorite set. So please give your choices like today you wear this pants or this dress? That is, there are two very clear choices for you to choose. And the same for the problems of eating, sleeping and playing. Indicate at least 2 choices that you want your child to make so that he or she has the right to assert their own choices.
Threaten children
Have you ever threatened your child that Mom will throw this toy away and she will never see it again because she won't clean it up after playing? Or if I don't eat, can't I be this or that? Or will you be like this…. if you… ..
These are empty threats, because you are not actually doing it. The consequences of it are that your child will gradually realize and not value what you threaten them later.
Say it once and think you have to understand for the same times
If you want your child to listen to you speak, even though it may be repeated many times and happens every day. But when I need to say it again like the first time, I don't think I know, I understand.
Do not summarize and conclude
When the child has a quiet or vague attitude, it is clear that there is no consensus or may not be understood. Make sure you understand, and you have to do it. Parents will not change their decision and ask you to follow the final conclusion in a serious voice, but not too harshly.
Read more: Teach your children to live responsibly
I misunderstood me correctly
When talking to your child, say short, clear, and loud sentences. Avoid long lines, and think to yourself that you understand.
Do not follow the rules
Usually we teach children, ask them a lot of things, but we do not perform or always find excuses for it. For example, teaching children not to scream, but there are times when we even shout at our children and make excuses because the child is spoiled, because the child does not obey, Mom and Dad take that right to scream. When I can understand that Mom and Dad use these excuses, I will use them for everything I do wrong so I can get away with this.
That is why it is very important for adults in the family to also adhere to the principle that has been set out for the child, to be able to establish the teaching of all useful values afterwards.
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