What are the things women expect men to know?
We brought her home in the crazy chaos of our new parenthood. We don't know much about what to expect. Really do not know anything. There are many things women expect men to know before they both decide to have a baby. I also want you to know about those things. There is so much to learn about being a parent.
We have never been parents before. Guess? You are like that and me too. Just because I am a woman or I used to babysit when I was a student doesn't mean I know more about what we are doing. This is not a contest of those who know a little bit about babies. This is a level playing field. We both know nothing. And, I am a woman, I have women's concerns, things women expect men to know.
Don't wait for me to ask. What women hope men know is you just understand me. You just need to do something. Changing diapers. Get me a snack. Fill your baby's water bottle while she is breastfeeding. Cook dinner. Throw the clothes in the washing machine and dry.
There are times when I will be very tired and sleepy too. And even if it's just a little, I will need you. I will replace you to look after the baby, feed the child. That will be when you can rest.
I will smile less because I will feel more tired
Perhaps this is what women expect men to know. And, I really want you to know. I will cry a lot for many reasons. Poop on my arm: cry. I'm tired: crying. I don't know what to do: cry. A friend stops playing without warning: crying. I am happy to see my baby: cry. I won't feel anything special when crying. Then let me cry without evaluating me at all.
I was born, but I still don't lose weight . I'm still so fat on the outside that people think I'm still pregnant. My hair is always messy. My puffiness is thicker and thicker. Her legs were growing so thick that people thought she was wearing a blanket. The wardrobe hung all the clothes that I never thought would be that big. So he never suggested sex. I don't want to have sex!
I will not be as confident as before.
I will wonder what you do in there. I'll stay in there longer to avoid everyone. May be like. But I will also sit down the toilet more slowly, will take toilet paper more slowly. And if I had time to shower, I would try to enjoy some of the tranquility and peace there.
Close family is okay. I know people want to see if we're all right. But please don't invite those who aren't close to home. I will wear housewives, and will not wear makeup. I will need time until I can continue. But not now, please say no to those who want to visit you.
I'm not just protecting me. But I also protect you. Stay by my side, I will protect and support you. That means how do you know? That means when someone comes to visit you and I look at you. That means: I WANT someone to pay my kids. And what I'm going to do is say politely to get you back.
If you had something to do with friends before, I also have work for me to do. I also have places I can go. But now, I can't go and don't want you to go anywhere. Come back to your mother when you're done. I know I need my family and I miss you.
Postpartum depression is a symptom that women experience. And I will too. I will change my temper, I will be able to sad more quickly and be less patient. I will also be more angry. But I am still you if you believe that.
You say "pm" here is with many meanings, including sex. So he must be mentally prepared and have to be sympathetic.
There will be many reasons for this. I'm busy feeding my baby, I'm tired so I can't eat, I need to eat early to get milk when I'm hungry… I'll have to eat by myself whether I can sit next to or in the same room. Eat rice alone, you may feel unhappy. But soon, he could have a meal with "more" people than before.
There are days when he will eat alone
If I used to get up early, now I would wake up late. I usually wear make-up when I leave the house, now I will not wear makeup anymore. If I used to kiss you when I was at work or when I went to work, now I would kiss my child (and I kissed him too). There will be daily changes of habits.
Imagine you wake up at 3am to breastfeed. I woke up again at 5am because I cried. At 7:00 a.m., I have to change my child's diaper. I won't be able to always smile at you like before. I laugh less, but I will still laugh.
It's true. No matter what changes the outside, I still love you. And, the truth is, I love you more, because I not only love my husband, I also love my father.
Those are the things women expect men to know before you pick you up and your baby from the hospital or maternity ward.
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