Being alone on a holiday in a new and unfamiliar city can be quite difficult if you cannot return to your hometown because you are far away or have insufficient funds, or simply don't have a special place to go. This can make you feel like you are lost in the wilderness, and left for a holiday. But you know what? Everything will be fine.
Psychologist Dr Snehal Kumar says being alone during the holidays can be quite difficult. It can lead you to get caught up in anxious thoughts in questioning your decision. You may feel frustrated and lonely, or you may feel like you don't have a lot of options or decisions. This is completely normal. You may want to mentally prepare yourself for the holiday season through questions.
"Think carefully about your decisions for a while," says Kumar. "Sometimes out of loneliness, we avoid thinking about these issues until close to the day. This means that we cannot plan what to do or ask for help from friends. "
Knowing that you won't be able to spend the holidays like you would every year, start thinking about what you want to do on vacation in a whole new place, says Kumar. Take some time to think, learn ideas, and look for opportunities to connect before the holidays if you can. For example, schedule a home call with everyone in the family, or call skype and open presents with a beloved granddaughter.
Note, if you feel like you are depressed and think negatively about the upcoming vacation, try to keep yourself busy through useful activities, Kumar shares. During the pre-holiday period, you can learn about activities or events that you find interesting to attend or collect new places to meet friends.
On the day you and your family usually celebrate, you can cook or bake, or spend some time decorating your new living space . Or simply walk around to find out more about where you live, says Kumar. It could be watching TV while eating a snack, or eating at a new favorite restaurant or FaceTiming with your mom. If you are religious, you can go to the church / temple in the new city to see if it is right for you.
Try to stop negative thoughts or self-doubts by recalling why you made this choice in the first place, says Kumar. Remind yourself that the adaptation process takes time and that your current loneliness doesn't last forever and doesn't show you will last.
"Give yourself comfort, based on what you need, instead of millions of negative thoughts that can leave us out of place during the holiday season," says Kumra.
From a mental health perspective, being alone on holidays can cause depression and anxiety in some people, so it's something to be aware of, says Dr. Rebecca Cowan, of Anchor Counsing & Health, for good. In this case, if the holiday adaptation process is too stressful, anxious, and depressed , it is important to seek professional help.
"Changing in a new life, positive or negative, often comes at a trade-off with some familiar things and it takes time to adapt." Cowan said. So as much as possible, connect with others during the holiday season, even if they are strangers. For example: meetings, taking classes, or inviting colleagues for coffee after work. And don't worry, you still have the right to go home to cover and watch TV, as long as you're happy and happy.
Cowan also says that there are often volunteer programs during the holiday season and this is another great way to make new friends and benefit the community. One study shows that doing this increases positive emotions.
Any other ideas? Think ahead. Double Trust Dating advisor David Bennett says holidays come and go, so he advises planning post-holiday events that you can expect to join from now on.
"Actually, I'm planning a" mid-winter "party in mid-January, because it's a time when people usually don't have much to do," said Bennett. "It also gives me something to look forward to during the chilly end of the year."
If all of the above doesn't work, just find your favorite movies and watch them throughout the holiday. And forget a bit about being alone sad for the holidays until it's all over. You will get through this difficult psychological period, for sure.
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