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The baby is fussy, irritable and clingy. Maybe your baby is going through an infant's crisis. What should mothers do at this time to reassure their children?
Dr. Frans Plooij is a leading expert in the field of neonatal psychology and is one of two authors of the world's best-selling infant book - The Wonder Weeks. This book has helped many parents around the world understand the psychological development of their child in the first 2 years of life.
For the past 35 years, his team has been studying infant development and how mothers respond to baby changes. Neurological studies have shown that at times large changes take place in the brain of babies under 20 months of age. There are 10 big jumps that every baby goes through in their first 20 months!
The following is an interview with Dr. Frans Plooij, author of The Wonder Weeks (Crisis Week).
“At a specific age, all babies go through a difficult period, characterized by three signs of fussy crying, clinging and irritability,” said Dr. Frans. At this point, many parents begin to question their parenting skills, but the reality is not the parent, but it's the baby's crisis week. ”
“Based on independent research done in Scotland on young brain development before and after birth we have found the reason. That is because at the beginning of the developmental stages, there are major changes occurring in the child's brain and through it, their perception of the world around them also drastically changes.
“It was as if she had just landed on a new planet, where everything was strange. Imagine you go to bed, and see that everything is different when you wake up the next morning. There is nothing you can do but hug your spouse tightly. ”
“The best parents can do is comfort their baby, because this change can put a baby in a state of fear and the only person who can help him adapt to this new world is the parent. And this happens 10 times during the first 20 months of a baby's life! Therefore, it can be concluded that children are born 10 times, because each change in perception will be a new perceptual world. "
Babies are fussy and upset at each stage of the week of crisis
“A crisis week consists of three phases,” said Dr. Frans. The first stage is brain change, new perception and difficult behavior. During this stage, babies often feel uncomfortable and need a lot of comfort. ”
“Then there is a period of 'beautiful sunshine' when babies start to try new things but still want their parents to be there. Finally, the stage of independent practice, when babies actively adapt to the new world, wants to discover and learn new skills by themselves. "
Dr. Frans: “From the very beginning, comforting the baby is very important. But we recommend that parents do not 'too help' and do everything for their children, but only create conditions when the baby has started to adapt.
“For example, if there is something out of reach of the baby, let the baby approach it on her own and take it instead of moving it closer. That way we can let them experience 'success', not 'failure' that makes them angry and irritable. ”
What to do when your baby is fussy and crying during crisis week?
Dr. Frans: “Don't panic because this stage is normal in every child. Most parents blame themselves for running to a doctor or lactation consultant (because mothers mistakenly think they may be facing problems while breastfeeding during a period. this paragraph)."
“Please comfort the baby more, do not use the excuse not to spoil the baby but let the baby cry. Babies need comfort because they cannot overcome them on their own. "
Should we adhere to the routine or be more flexible for our baby's feeding and sleeping schedule at these stages?
Dr. Frans: “In general parents should be ready for a baby's need to eat more.”
Dr. Frans: “In the book Wonder Weeks, we have listed in great detail the signs that children are going through a week of crisis. In general, you will find your baby more fussy, clingy and irritable. ”
The larger the child's brain becomes more complex. So they can be unusually sweet to the mother and what she wants is attention and closeness and physical contact with her. "
What if my baby hasn't gone through a crisis week, but is still fussy and irritable?
Dr. Frans: “At this time, other factors such as illness, irritability, change of space (stressing the baby) are not excluded…”
Dr. Frans: “It is better to use the due date to calculate, because developmental milestones are counted starting at conception, not at birth. Unrelated date of birth. ”
What about premature babies?
Dr. Frans: "We still use the due date in this case."
Children don't experience another week of crisis after wonder week 10?
Dr. Frans: "Yes, but this is a different stage and has been studied extensively in older age groups."
fussy baby
Dr. Frans: “When parents find that a baby cannot get through this stage on their own, they need comfort and support. Parents can completely see which skills the baby wants to develop first, create conditions and environment for children to develop these skills, so that children can have more 'successful experiences'. good. That will make a big difference in your baby's intellectual, social and health development. "
While it's inevitable to go through these crisis weeks, there are a few things parents can do to reduce stress and keep babies less fussy:
- Put your child to sleep at night 30-45 minutes earlier than usual. Cut off 1 sleep a day (applied to weeks 12-26 or 37 - 55 or 64). Because these weeks are the weeks babies change their sleeping habits, they want to sleep less and wake up more.
- Do not force the child to eat when the child is easily irritable and has psychological changes. If the mother forces the baby to eat, it can lead to psychological anorexia in children. Parents can change their eating habits a little these days, and they can feed their children when they need them.
Spend more time with your baby. This is exactly what the baby wants, being closer to her mother and practicing new skills, she will be very excited.
- When your baby fussy and cries, let him do what he likes best such as walking, playing with water or listening to music, massage ... Not only that, during these weeks, your baby should be active as much as possible. A lot of exercise will make your baby forget about being upset and sleep better.
- Parents should also prepare mentally for their child's irrational fusses, many babies will not stop crying until the baby is tired and falls asleep. However, should not ignore other signs of fatigue or sickness ...
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