Please dont be subjective with postpartum depression - the killer in your own home

What are the symptoms of postpartum depression that breastfeeding mothers may face? Be really serious about this situation as it causes so many harms you can hardly imagine.

A few months after my daughter Alice was born, I sat on a swing at 4 in the morning while breastfeeding and crying for no apparent reason - perhaps for the 5th time in hours.

It has become my state; a great, empty sadness interrupted by flashes of anxiety, intensity and haunting.

"I'm just feeling a little tired," I said as soon as friends or family expressed concern about me. “I am a mother. You know what this is like! "

The same goes for the following month. "Just the hormones!" I sobbed with my husband. “I'm just a little tired… Just adjusting… It gets better when the baby sleeps more. When everything is back to normal. When I can fit into my clothes… ”

But months passed and things didn't get better. Finally I realized I needed help.

Not just depression

Before I realized that my 4 a.m. crying was not just 'hormone', I had ambiguity about postpartum depression through internet news articles and the pamphlets they gave out. at the hospital.

They are mainly about those miserable new mothers, fighting to connect with their children. That's not me, I excuse. Sure, I'm sad, but I find myself completely attached to her. More than that, it is very attached.

So attached that I spent hours thinking obsessively about all the bad things that could happen to my children, imagining situations that were increasingly delusional and unlikely to happen.

"The other branch can fall and hit me. How can I live if my baby is gone? What if someone takes my baby? What if he suffocates his sleep? Such questions always show up ... "

But I think that is completely normal. What will a mother do without worrying about her children?

Not really!

Postpartum depression is increasingly variable and more complicated

Most women are familiar with the term postpartum depression, but they also have to deal with the fear of giving birth, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and mental disorder.

That is why the term "postpartum depression" has become old and has been gradually replaced by the phrase "Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders", or PMADs.

Dr. Catherine Birndorf, founder and medical director of the New York City Maternity Center, which specializes in postpartum mental health, says: "It seems that PMADs are a new form of postpartum depression." .

"The problem is a lot of mums hear 'postpartum depression' and think, 'but I'm not depressed!"

I'm worried, I can't sleep, I don't feel like myself, 'but none of that sounds like depression, so they don't seek treatment. "

There's a lot of help out there, and it's really effective, but it's important to know what you're looking for - especially if your symptoms don't match those typical of postpartum depression.

Postpartum depression is not unique to first-time mothers

While the terms "perinatal" and "postpartum" refer to the moment immediately after birth, it is true that many mothers struggle with these mental health problems long after the baby is born. born.

"Symptoms happen at different times in life," said Dr. Birndorf, "I know mothers with teens still say:" I feel like I'm still dealing with problems. Postpartum problem! "

Mothers who face difficulties soon after giving birth often find themselves unable to handle new challenges, like the birth of another baby.

"They are stressed out," said Dr. Birndorf. When you do your best, there is no room for new tensions. It won't be difficult for those difficulties to drown you. "

This is especially true for mothers whose babies are having problems.

Worrying about a struggling child at school, taking care of a child lacking confidence, or being angry going through a scramble at the grocery store may be enough to bring a mother back with depression or concerned.

In contrast, Dr. Birndorf argues that when mothers seek to help their children, they often ignore their own mental health problems.

"When parents have to slow down and look at what's happening to their kids, maybe it's time to stop and see what's happening to themselves."

It is easy to be confused with excessive anxiety

Since worrying is a natural part of having a baby, many young mothers think their worries are only part of being a parent.

"A lot of mothers feel intense and exaggerated anxiety," says Dr. Birndorf, but don't realize it's a postpartum symptom. ”Signs of perinatal anxiety disorder include:

Stubbornness and excessive anxiety do not correspond to real experience. For example, fear that a healthy baby might get cancer. Or think something "horrible" can happen, when everything looks fine.

Insomnia

Imagine pictures of danger, frightening to your child, or yourself harming your child, for no apparent reason.

Feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, and fear

Fear or anxiety interfere with your ability to handle the situation, and even the simplest of things, like leaving home or driving from one place to another can seem dangerous and impossible to do.

For some mothers, these thoughts become overwhelming and controlling them, which can be a symptom of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

Determination of postpartum depression

Likewise, it can be difficult to determine if what you're feeling is postpartum depression or just the growing pain of being a parent.

Especially when you are exhausted and live hastily enjoying moments like five minutes before your baby wakes up.

Many women experience an erratic, sad, or upset mood called "baby blues" after giving birth, with most symptoms going away after a few weeks.

If they persist, or seem to get worse, then it's time to talk to your doctor. Signs of postpartum depression include:

Feelings of worthlessness, despair, or numbness

The mood changes suddenly

Cry a lot or burst into tears for unreasonable reasons (or for no reason)

Loss of appetite or emotional eating

Never sleep when the baby sleeps. Or, on the contrary, do nothing but sleep

Lack of reflexes. Feel completely overwhelmed by even the simplest of things.

Emotional anger, attacks on your friends, family or baby

Feeling disconnected from your baby, or so attached to you that you feel you can't cope.

Worried that "this moment won't come back again"

There can also be both anxiety and depression. In fact, untreated anxiety often leads to depression.

Why should you take care of yourself?

Parents often ignore their own feelings and needs to take care of their children - which can have a negative impact on the mental health of the whole family.

"There is a story about a sublime mother who cares about everyone but herself," said Dr. Birndorf.

“But when she's in trouble, overcoming the troubles by herself does more harm than good. If the parents are not normal, the child is also very difficult to be normal. "

Children learn to behave from their parents and when you are a parent facing a hardship, it's like handling it in front of an audience.

Studies have shown that children whose parents are depressed or anxious often have many problems with behavior, learning, and mental health.

That is why it is important for parents to help themselves and be an example in their children's behavior to teach children how to handle difficult situations effectively.

How to take care of yourself?

Taking time to take care of yourself is important. Being able to do anything allows you to stay away from stressors and have some time for yourself. Eg:

Soak in the bath while your baby is asleep, or watch a favorite TV show when everyone is in bed

Go out for dinner

Write diary

Join a gym class

Meditate for five minutes or use a meditation app

Take a nice walk outside

Self-care doesn't have to be expensive or time-consuming. "Small changes can also be really helpful," said Dr. Birndorf.

Ask a relative for help

It's also important to stop pretending you're okay when you're not. Get support from family or friends.

"Tell people you are in trouble and most importantly tell them how they can help," says Dr. Brindorf.

Offer specific suggestions that will make it easier for people to help in the way you really need it. For example, take your child with you at a meeting, look after your child while you and your partner are dating, or just contact you once a week to see how you are doing.

Joining online communities or parenting Facebook groups or mental health is a great way to seek support and connect with other parents.

But make sure the groups or pages you're interacting with can ease your concerns, not complicate things.

"Online groups can be helpful," says Dr. Birndorf, "but keep in mind that sometimes people on the web seem to consider themselves your doctor, and they're completely wrong."

Connecting directly with other mothers can help reduce feelings of isolation, and joining a perinatal mood and anxiety support group (PMADs) where you live can be a huge help. , Dr. Birndorf adds.

"Just talking to people who understand what you are going through is very helpful."

Seek treatment for symptoms of postpartum depression

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) has been shown to be very effective in treating perinatal disorders.

CBT helps people understand that their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are all connected, so changing one of these points can change all three.

Clinicians and patients work together to come up with certain goals, such as repelling useless thoughts and improving reflexes.

Some therapists specialize in PMADS. But an expert is not everything, says Dr. Birndorf. “Getting help when you need it is key.

If you are struggling, finding a therapist you are comfortable working with and finding someone who understands your needs is more important than finding a specialist. ”

Antidepressants or anti-anxiety medications may also be an important part of the course.

Women are often interested in taking medication while breastfeeding, they should talk to their doctors, "it's possible, you just need to work with someone who can help you find the right solution . "

Go ahead and you will learn a lot

I finally made progress and found a therapist who understood where my problem came from. I started making friends with other parents, asked for help when needed, and stopped insisting that I was okay when I wasn't really.

I still have happy and sad days, but I no longer feel isolated or scared.

I saw my daughter looking at me, and the lines of Theodore Rotheke in "The Waking" flash through my mind: I learn by getting where I need to be.

"We'll explore it together", I smiled and told my daughter.

See more:

What is depression?

Postpartum room for mothers after giving birth

Newborn baby's body language: Do you know what you're trying to say?