Most parents want me to apologize to adults, I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry. But those parents refuse to apologize to their children. Most of the reasons given are that they do not want their image to be "discounted" in front of their eyes. Do you know what children learn from adult apologies?
Think about the last time you got someone apologized. Was it your feeling at that time that you felt respected and that I also respected the attitude of the person apologizing to you? So are children. If you do something wrong, it is definitely wrong. If you are sorry, your child will truly respect you, not just the awe.
Adults are afraid to apologize to a child, but if you want your child to develop better mentality and have better thinking, you should learn to sincerely apologize. Because if you always avoid saying sorry, your child will understand that:
Apology means making me do something bad or I'm very bad. That comes with shame.
It is normal to make someone sad or hurt, and the person making the mistake does not need to know, nor effort to improve the situation.
When you're sorry, you lose your status.
Children are often forced to apologize to brothers and sisters , but if they are not required, they will not apologize because adults are not pressed, the adults will not apologize.
We make mistakes from time to time and we try to make things better to make things better.
Everyone makes others sad sometimes. Knowing that you upset the other person and saying sorry is important if you appreciate the relationship.
When you apologize, the other person feels more comfortable thinking of you.
Some adults will agree to apologize to the child, but only if they feel ready. But often when they feel ready it cools down and they don't even think about needing to apologize.
Whenever you go against what you taught your child, you need to apologize. Start with the words "Oh" and "Oh," to ease the situation at that moment, then it's easier to say you're sorry. "Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt you." When an adult's apology is said in a timely and timely manner, children will automatically understand when they need to apologize without waiting for prompting or pressing.
The situation might be: “I promised to buy you a new book but I forgot it. Mom / Dad sorry. Did you look forward to having that book? ”
Sometimes when you have inappropriate gestures and attitudes, then it's not enough to apologize. What do children learn from adult apologies? Let me imagine what happened, show me what's wrong.
"We're both sad, aren't we? I shouted loudly to my mother. And mother scolded me. I cried a lot and I'm sorry for making me scared. I am very sad, but I know I have to adjust my feelings. Screaming doesn't solve anything for someone you love.
In this situation, you reacted inappropriately even though you could not help it, so this is also your chance to show your child the reality, experience and learn lessons together.
Also in the above situation, the reason the mother reacted strongly was because her child was yelling at her. However, you should only let your child understand not to yell at others when you are uncomfortable. Don't try to remind them that it was their fault first. It is the adult who needs to work harder to contain emotions if we want to teach our children about it.
Sorry to go with the wrong acknowledgment. Explaining your emotions is essential, but don't use many excuses for yourself because you accidentally make your child understand when you have a reason, you have the right to do wrong with others.
Apology is important, but improving the situation is just as important because that way, your child will understand what you want to change after your inappropriate behavior or words.
After all the effort, you need your child to confirm forgiveness because if he / she still has a warm memory, he or she will carry the warmth along with them throughout their growing up, without their own knowledge. If from the unconscious you have too many "wounds" like that, you will always feel insecure.
No shame, no blame. That is the most important thing when you are wondering whether to apologize to your child or not. Instead, apologize at the right time and the most important goal is to make things better. Parents must be very brave to admit they are wrong, hope their children forgive, but in return, that parent will help their children develop into a child with a healthy mentality. They are the kids who know the value of relationships and how to accept responsibility.
See more:
Apologizing process in 5 steps
Why should we not force a child to say PLEASE?
Instantly learn how to punish wise children when they make mistakes
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