Are you a hot-tempered mother who always scolds her children for her small mistakes. Let's learn this mother's way to control her heat!
My sweetie,
I want to let you know what is very important in this letter, which is:
I'm sorry baby!
You are always taught and constantly reminded to say SORRY when you do anything wrong.
But to me alone, I did not say enough of that SORRY to you. I always have a way to ask you to PLEASE, even the tiniest things. "Please say sorry for spilling the water!" "I must apologize for leaving my toys around the house!" "I must apologize for breaking Mom's lipstick!"
And now I'm saying to you: I'm sorry.
Because Mother is a nasty mother. A hot-tempered Mother.
She was extremely strict, impatient, a hot-tempered Mother. I always scream, even yelling at you in public, I squeeze your wrist (sometimes sure enough to make you scream) to remind me when I'm not satisfied with something.
She recalls one evening when her temper took over her completely. During those two hours, there were three sudden outbursts. We were in a shopping mall at the time, and as always I was me - I hopped, then crossed my legs while playing my imaginary game. Suddenly I stumbled and fell, and immediately my mother shouted: "I told you already, you must go straight, or else you will fall and hurt yourself!". And raised his hand and pulled me up strongly without comforting and asking if I was hurt.
Not long after, I almost gnawed me in a furniture store when I opened the music box with the princess inside, and I exclaimed: "Mom, this ballet princess!" and let the music box drop, scratching and breaking the princess's legs. Mom gripped my arms and growled, "I told you not to touch things that aren't yours!" right in front of the store employee, and the heat persisted while compensating for the damage.
And it goes on. Mom snags at me again while we eat dinner at the restaurant. I picked up the water cup and drank in a princess style of having to lift my remaining fingers nicely, which made me unsure of the cup, and of course the water wet my shirt, then I exclaimed "Mom! I spilled the water," I confessed quietly. I know that Mom is going to spill out a scolding, and I didn't disappoint me when I growled with wide eyes, angry face. "How did you tell me? I told you to hold a cup with both hands, now look at what you've done!" Mother was extremely angry just as her hot-tempered mother showed.
I wasn't interested in explaining to you what you did wrong and not repeating it again - but every time I scold you, it becomes clear that the joy on your face fades, but I don't What's with that ..
After I got home - the repression of those three new accidents made me even more irritable, uncomfortable, and more tired, while I was still a sweet, playful 4-year-old girl and said: "They I have returned to our lovely home! " While Mother was in a cellar, went into her bedroom, and fell into bed from being so tired.
At that time, all I wanted was to rest, from dealing with my little accidents, from having to scold me for my little mistakes, making me exhausted.
A few minutes later I lay down beside me. I bring all the smiles on my face for you, and want to be with you even if you scold you for me the whole time. When I saw you like that, I silently thanked me for having a cheerful spirit daughter, and it was not easy to be broken by my troubles and scolding. And she realizes that the rest she needs, is a separation from herself hot-tempered Mother herself.
I didn't want it to be a mother in me - a hot-tempered, angry , impatient mother screaming all the time. I don't want your bad behavior to become the standard in my eyes, I don't want you to accept such an image of me in my mind.
I promise, I will take down that hot-tempered Mother in me and keep reminding myself - you are a baby, you are only four years old. At this age, you have to make mistakes to learn and you make mistakes to test your own limits - even if that means testing your limits.
How can a four-year-old like me understand what is right and which is unacceptable? The best way is that you must make mistakes, have to do to find out the consequences of your actions, if you do not allow you to make your mistakes, you must always be tired of prevention and face all risks. ro because you need to be like that at your age?
Parents just want to protect their children from all dangers, but sometimes parents don't realize we can do more harm if we don't learn to let go and let them find their own way.
I was too nervous to worry about all the mistakes you made, so I was impatient and quickly allowed the heat to rise, but really, I just need to learn to relax. Instead of shouting out at all your mistakes "I told you ..." you should say these three words "Are you okay?"
And now, I have three more important words to say to you:
"I'm sorry."
And no matter how angry Mom is, these three words that are always the most important in my heart are:
"I love you."
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