Positive Discipline Methods

In today's social context, which is undergoing drastic changes, raising and educating children at home and at school is becoming more and more challenging. Most adults want their children and students to have a sense of discipline, keep good habits, be proactive, confident, and be "good children". However, how to achieve that is always a question that concerns many parents and teachers, especially for children who are often considered stubborn, disruptive, and making mistakes. Let's learn about positive discipline methods with the teaching handbook.

Although many people know that punishing, hitting, or scolding doesn't make their kids better, they don't know what else to do. “Positive discipline method” can be a good solution that we would like to introduce to parents and teachers.

Why is it important to find out the purpose of a child's negative behavior?

When children are good everything is fine, but when children are naughty and have behavior problems adults start to worry and then many people take drastic measures to change unwanted behavior.

Many people think that children are spoiled because they themselves are quarrelsome or overly pampered, spoiled because their parents or siblings are spoiled, because the family is too poor or too rich, etc. There are many reasons given. but does not help explain the purpose of the child's negative behavior. After all, all behavior has a purpose and a reason, it doesn't happen by accident. The same goes for children's negative or inappropriate behavior. Adults need to identify the purpose of a child's negative behavior in order to understand why the child does it and have an appropriate and effective response.

It is worth noting that many times children are not aware of their false thoughts and beliefs. If adults later ask children why they behave like this, they often answer "don't know" or give some excuses or excuses.

Purpose of children's negative behavior at home and at school and adults' feelings and reactions

Most education experts believe that all negative behaviors of children can be reduced to one of the four purposes just mentioned: Attracting attention; show power; want to retaliate; show nonconformity.

The purpose of the child's negative behavior For example Adult feelings and reactions Children's responses when adults attempt to correct their behavior
Attract attention Active : Making jokes to make fun of, playing tricks (with adults, with friends), dressing differently, crying, making noise. Passive : Forgetting, neglecting to do things. Emotions : Irritated, angry, sometimes funny because children are very naughty. Response : Tends to remind many times, coax the child to stop the behavior. Stop that "bad" behavior. Then continue or bother again in another way to get the adult's attention.
Show power Proactive : Aggressive, fighting, tantalizing, defiant, disobedient, uncooperative. Passive : Stubborn, rebellious, resistant. Emotions : Anger, provoked, feeling his authority challenged. Response : Tendency is to punish, “counterattack” or “give up” If adults use authority to respond, children will react more strongly or accept obedience in a stubborn, stubborn way. This often escalates into a power “war” between adults and children. If the adult "gives up", the child will stop.
Retaliation Active : Hurting someone, being rude, violent, destroying things because of feeling hurt and unloved. Passive : Perceiving others in a hostile, insulting manner. Emotions : Deeply hurt, didn't expect the child to do the same to her. Response : Tendency is for adults to respond or make peace. Find ways to further retaliate by increasing the negative behavior (destructive behavior, hurtful words) or choosing another 'weapon'. This often escalates and leads to a vicious cycle of “retaliation” between adults and children.
Expressing inadequacy Passive : Give up. Give up something easily, without trying, without participating; escape or drop out of school; find a way out with alcohol and drugs. Emotions : Adult despair, depression, suffering. Response : Adults often tend to "give up" with children or give in to children. In the case of children addicted to drugs, adults can take them to rehab. Respond passively or not at all to any parental measures. No progress has been shown. Hopefully the adults will also "give up" and leave the children alone.

Attracting attention and exerting power are the two most common purposes of common negative behavior in children at home and at school.

Positive Discipline Methods

  • Attracting attention: Behind the behavior of attracting attention is the child's false thinking: "I only feel important when I receive the attention and attention of parents and teachers". By adolescence, children are more likely to direct this behavior towards their peers. Wanting attention is a need, a common motivation in any child. If they can't attract attention through good grades, athletic performance, and healthy group activities, they'll do it in other negative ways. For example, children may be disruptive at home or at school. For these children, adults often scold, punish or flatter the child to stop doing so. But their goal is to get their attention, and what you do with them right now is exactly what they're looking for. Therefore, the more children have behaviors that make adults feel more uncomfortable.
  • Show power: Children are constantly trying to discover how “strong” they are. Behind the behavior that proves they have "power" is the child's misconception: "I only feel important if I am the one in control and have what I want". Some children only feel important when they defy the authority of adults, violate the internal rules, do not follow the instructions of their parents and teachers. Children's teasing and challenging behavior makes adults angry, especially parents, who say obedience is important, and it is difficult to accept the scene of "children arguing with adults". It is easy for adults to punish children in this case.
  • Retaliation: Children think "I feel hurt because I am not loved, not treated with respect, fair, punished, I have to respond". Children hurt others (siblings or classmates) and parents and teachers because they have felt hurt and unfairly treated before. Maybe the child has actually been treated unfairly, or maybe it's just because he thinks so, so he's looking for ways to retaliate. Children do this in many ways: By actions, by words, by silence, by refusing to cooperate, by hostile looks and gestures... These are the times when children are feeling very depressed, annoyed. so late.
  • Show inappropriateness: “I can't live up to the expectations of the adults, I give up and hope they leave me alone.” Behavior that shows inadequacy is the act of withdrawing, avoiding failure because the task feels too overwhelming compared to the expectations of parents and teachers. For example, the child might say: "I can't solve that!", "I told you I can't because I'm very ignorant in this subject". At that time, the child is feeling very depressed. If an adult taunts: “Can't you get better? Too bad! Stupid" the more worthless the child will feel and the more he will continue to display the behavior he is doing.

How do adults behave in positive discipline?

Currently, adults have a lot of ways to behave when children have negative actions, but in order for good behavior and children's recognition to be positive, adults should:

  • Identify the wrong purpose of negative behavior in children
  • Adult behavior: in such situations, adults should try to stay calm, understand the child, respect the child, and use positive discipline methods.
  • What should adults do without punishment?
    • Implement  attention-grabbing behavior : Minimize or ignore the child's behavior when possible, actively pay attention to the child at other times, when it is more appropriate and pleasant. looked serious but said nothing. use logical consequences
    • Performing behavior to show power, adults should: Stay calm, withdraw from quarrels and conflicts, do not "go to war" so that children calm down, help children see that they can use strength and power in a way Be positive, establish rules or schedules that adults will regularly spend time with children 
    • In retaliation, adults should: be patient. Break out of the vicious cycle of "titrating" each other, maintain a normal mentality while waiting for the child to calm down, use encouragement skills, show children that they are loved, respected, set rules or schedules that adults will often spend time with children 
    • Performing behavior that shows inappropriateness, avoiding failure, adults should: Do not criticize or disparage children, spend time training, tutoring children, especially in learning, dividing tasks, start with easy for kids to have initial success, don't show pity, don't give up, Spend regular time with kids, help them.

Above are some short sharings on positive discipline methods, hopefully it will be a useful reference for you.

See more: Small group cooperative teaching method

Manage safe Internet access for young children

Manage safe Internet access for young children

Safe internet access for young children is something that all savvy parents are concerned about, because inside the internet there are many potential dangers.

Download Amazon Music songs to MP3 with Pazu Amazon Music Converter

Download Amazon Music songs to MP3 with Pazu Amazon Music Converter

We all love to listen to music, and it is something which you cant resist. No matter in which mood you are happy, sad, party or be it any occasion you will always find the perfect music for the situation.

Types of classes in Flipgrid teachers need to know

Types of classes in Flipgrid teachers need to know

To use Flipgrid, teachers will first create a Grid for their class. In the Grid, teachers will post discussions for their students

6 Simple Steps to Start Reversing Class

6 Simple Steps to Start Reversing Class

The flipped classroom is one of the most talked about trends in education in recent years.

SEO Facebook tips you should not miss

SEO Facebook tips you should not miss

In this article, CloudO3 will help you with simple steps to SEO facebook effectively and safely

Automatically translate Email from English to Vietnamese

Automatically translate Email from English to Vietnamese

Currently, Mr. Google has integrated him to translate and his gmail always keeps it neat. Email automatic translation is very simple, useful and fast

Block ads on Android without Root

Block ads on Android without Root

Android often appears very annoying ads during use, this article will guide you how to block ads on Android

Office Remote Turn your Android phone into a Slideshow

Office Remote Turn your Android phone into a Slideshow

With the Office Remote tool, you can easily turn your Android phone into a slide control device, all you need is an Android phone.

Toggle Microsoft Whiteboard for your organization

Toggle Microsoft Whiteboard for your organization

Microsoft Whiteboard is a free whiteboard application for drawing on the computer, but it combines many other features such as taking notes, drawing pictures, sketching.

Solve math problems very simply with Microsoft Math Solver

Solve math problems very simply with Microsoft Math Solver

With the powerful support of the Microsoft Math Solver tool, your math learning will become easier than ever, it's no longer a nightmare :D

Share system sounds in Microsoft Teams

Share system sounds in Microsoft Teams

Microsoft Teams allows teachers to easily share the system's audio, making their online lessons more interesting.

How to Archive and Restore a Microsoft Teams Team

How to Archive and Restore a Microsoft Teams Team

Microsoft Teams allows teachers to archive a group when it is no longer active, but teachers still want to keep it for reference.

Instructions for upgrading to Windows 11 are very easy

Instructions for upgrading to Windows 11 are very easy

Instructions for upgrading to Windows 11 are very easy

Insert Survey or quiz into Powerpoint Slide

Insert Survey or quiz into Powerpoint Slide

Microsoft Form allows teachers to easily integrate tests and surveys right into their Powerpoint Slides.

What to do when forgot the password of iPhone, iPad?

What to do when forgot the password of iPhone, iPad?

If you forget your password and enter it incorrectly more than 6 times, your iPhone or iPad will be disabled. The article will guide you to fix forgot iphone ipad password

Microsoft Whiteboard and frequently asked questions.

Microsoft Whiteboard and frequently asked questions.

Microsoft Whiteboard is a digital, free-form drawing whiteboard application where everyone can come together to present their ideas and content according to their personality.

Instructions for installing iSpring - E-learning writing software

Instructions for installing iSpring - E-learning writing software

The task of the tool to support the development of E-learning lectures is to develop and digitalize online materials as simply and conveniently as possible.

New features in Microsoft Teams

New features in Microsoft Teams

Using Microsoft Teams as a platform to teach and manage learning activities is a great choice. Great new feature in Microsoft Teams

Instructions for capturing the entire screen on Windows 11

Instructions for capturing the entire screen on Windows 11

In this article, CloudO3 will show you how to capture the entire screen very easily on Windows 11 computers.

Questioning technique in capacity development teaching

Questioning technique in capacity development teaching

Questioning technique is the soul, the center of teaching and developing competence. Therefore, teachers often use questions to prompt and lead students