In today's social context, which is undergoing drastic changes, raising and educating children at home and at school is becoming more and more challenging. Most adults want their children and students to have a sense of discipline, keep good habits, be proactive, confident, and be "good children". However, how to achieve that is always a question that concerns many parents and teachers, especially for children who are often considered stubborn, disruptive, and making mistakes. Let's learn about positive discipline methods with the teaching handbook.
Although many people know that punishing, hitting, or scolding doesn't make their kids better, they don't know what else to do. “Positive discipline method” can be a good solution that we would like to introduce to parents and teachers.
Why is it important to find out the purpose of a child's negative behavior?
When children are good everything is fine, but when children are naughty and have behavior problems adults start to worry and then many people take drastic measures to change unwanted behavior.
Many people think that children are spoiled because they themselves are quarrelsome or overly pampered, spoiled because their parents or siblings are spoiled, because the family is too poor or too rich, etc. There are many reasons given. but does not help explain the purpose of the child's negative behavior. After all, all behavior has a purpose and a reason, it doesn't happen by accident. The same goes for children's negative or inappropriate behavior. Adults need to identify the purpose of a child's negative behavior in order to understand why the child does it and have an appropriate and effective response.
It is worth noting that many times children are not aware of their false thoughts and beliefs. If adults later ask children why they behave like this, they often answer "don't know" or give some excuses or excuses.
Purpose of children's negative behavior at home and at school and adults' feelings and reactions
Most education experts believe that all negative behaviors of children can be reduced to one of the four purposes just mentioned: Attracting attention; show power; want to retaliate; show nonconformity.
| The purpose of the child's negative behavior | For example | Adult feelings and reactions | Children's responses when adults attempt to correct their behavior |
| Attract attention | Active : Making jokes to make fun of, playing tricks (with adults, with friends), dressing differently, crying, making noise. Passive : Forgetting, neglecting to do things. | Emotions : Irritated, angry, sometimes funny because children are very naughty. Response : Tends to remind many times, coax the child to stop the behavior. | Stop that "bad" behavior. Then continue or bother again in another way to get the adult's attention. |
| Show power | Proactive : Aggressive, fighting, tantalizing, defiant, disobedient, uncooperative. Passive : Stubborn, rebellious, resistant. | Emotions : Anger, provoked, feeling his authority challenged. Response : Tendency is to punish, “counterattack” or “give up” | If adults use authority to respond, children will react more strongly or accept obedience in a stubborn, stubborn way. This often escalates into a power “war” between adults and children. If the adult "gives up", the child will stop. |
| Retaliation | Active : Hurting someone, being rude, violent, destroying things because of feeling hurt and unloved. Passive : Perceiving others in a hostile, insulting manner. | Emotions : Deeply hurt, didn't expect the child to do the same to her. Response : Tendency is for adults to respond or make peace. | Find ways to further retaliate by increasing the negative behavior (destructive behavior, hurtful words) or choosing another 'weapon'. This often escalates and leads to a vicious cycle of “retaliation” between adults and children. |
| Expressing inadequacy | Passive : Give up. Give up something easily, without trying, without participating; escape or drop out of school; find a way out with alcohol and drugs. | Emotions : Adult despair, depression, suffering. Response : Adults often tend to "give up" with children or give in to children. In the case of children addicted to drugs, adults can take them to rehab. | Respond passively or not at all to any parental measures. No progress has been shown. Hopefully the adults will also "give up" and leave the children alone. |
Attracting attention and exerting power are the two most common purposes of common negative behavior in children at home and at school.
How do adults behave in positive discipline?
Currently, adults have a lot of ways to behave when children have negative actions, but in order for good behavior and children's recognition to be positive, adults should:
Above are some short sharings on positive discipline methods, hopefully it will be a useful reference for you.
See more: Small group cooperative teaching method
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