Signs Youre Really Ready for a Serious Relationship

Many people want to be in a serious, healthy relationship. However, wanting and being ready for a relationship is another matter. If you are not ready for the serious relationship you want, then either nothing will work out, or you will fall into short-term or “toxic” relationships.

The good news is that you can work to be ready for the relationship you want. You can learn relationship skills, heal your relationship with yourself, and learn how to have a healthy relationship with your significant other. When you do the work, all relationships will change for the better.

If you're wondering whether you're ready for the serious relationship you want, check out this list of ways you can tell if you're ready or if you have more work to do before getting into a serious relationship :

• Chaos is OFF, not ON. Examples of chaos include sexting, hooking up with someone you know you can’t be with, dating someone who likes you on and off, addictions, engaging in activities that cause big emotions—highs and lows. When someone is distant or playing games, you see it as a red flag, not a challenge. You don’t get excited when someone who’s distant gets back in touch. You don’t have room for that shit. In a serious relationship, we trade that chaos (which feels exciting) for stability (which feels boring). But once stability becomes exciting, you’re ready.
• You refuse to let anyone cause you more pain. That includes a moment of anxiety. That's when you stop accepting less than you deserve.
• You let go of control. You learn to accept uncertainty, which allows a relationship to grow or fade. When you try to control, you end up trying to turn something that needs to fade into something that works… and doesn’t. Or, you make something that needs time to expand, solidify, and grow into something bigger too quickly/too soon, which causes it to end. When you can let something fade or grow, and move on without trying to control, you are ready.
• You seek an equal, not a project. You allow others to care for, love, and support you, rather than becoming more skilled at caring for, loving, and supporting others. You like to be cared for the way you care for others.
• It's natural that someone likes you and you feel happy. You don't doubt it when someone likes you. You don't get turned off when someone likes you. You think, "Of course they like me!"
• You trust your intuition to guide you more than anything else. Trusting your intuition as your guide is the ultimate act of self-love. When you trust your intuition to guide you, you know that you have created a healthy relationship with yourself. The healthier your relationship with yourself, the more likely you are to have a healthy relationship with your significant other.