The story of mother-in-law with daughter-in-law, son-in-law is always a delicate matter that requires a certain courage to be able to do well in this relationship. Here are the things you should never tell your mother-in-law / wife, stay tuned!
Although it doesn't seem like she necessarily gets involved in your affairs, it's better to assume that she has a good idea and that you should simply thank her for her opinion. she is rather refusing / ruffling them. You can go completely on with whatever you want to do after that - the final choice is yours. If she continues to impose an opinion on you, say 'thank you, mum, but we've decided to do this.'
Politics and religion are two topics that can bring unnecessary quarrels into your family. If you want to discuss politics with your mother-in-law, just remember that no one will win that verbal fight! If your mother-in-law asks for your opinion of a politician she supports (but you disagree with which one of his policies), then you better avoid asking questions or changing the subject.
Blaming your mother-in-law for what your husband did or didn't do was unfair. After all, he was a grown man and you chose to marry him. Aside from small things wrong, hasn't she done a lot of right things? The rule of thumb: it is better not to let your marriage problems, or whatever matters to you and your husband, concern her. You can guess which side she will be on!
These are the things you should never tell your mother-in-law
That said, you consider your relationship with her family (extended family) not equal to your immediate family, because you do not recognize them as your family. The family is the family - whether it is biological or according to marriage. Try not to distinguish or worse, compare. At least don't say it out loud.
Your mother-in-law may expect to see you more than you think or want. Set reasonable expectations to spend time together and try to pull your husband on your side. And if you're really busy with chores and other things to spend more time with her, skillfully decline. Nobody likes to feel rejected.
This is as bad as # 3 on this list - basically a variation of the same thing! PROVINCE, her daughter is your wife. Your mother-in-law is not responsible for the problems you are both facing. Even if you have reason to believe you will be the best mediator, this is not a polite way to ask for help from your mother-in-law. Instead, be humble and share your problem with her and ask for advice.
Don't shirk your responsibilities - build an open, honest, and caring relationship with your mother-in-law. And don't use the husband's relationship with his parents as an excuse to avoid responsibility. Even if your husband is the one who should notify his parents, say “I'm going to let Henry talk to you about this, because I don't want to reveal the secret! But I'm sure mom will be surprised / interested. In short, don't call your spouse "son / daughter" to her - that's very rude. In addition, you are also married to your spouse, and should not use such arbitrary language.
Do not take the children out to fight your mother-in-law / wife
Don't use children as a weapon to win. This is just unfair (the kids didn't get in on your quarrel and deserve to see their grandmother!). This also creates resentment in your family - it shows that you are threatening her.
Your mother-in-law will always remember and can now use this behavior against you - they may accuse you of being ready to keep your baby off her just because you two had a fight. Comment.
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