The question is less charming or is freely asked by loved ones at every family meeting such as Giang Sinh, New Year, Lunar New Year, ... But experts say some of the best questions should not be said. out.
Poor-conditions questions often arise only from a sincere interest in our happiness and our future. These questions may refer to past, present and especially future problems.
Below, experts share some questions that often appear in holiday gatherings that accidentally send wrong messages. And suggest more meaningful questions instead.
1. Why are you still single and never had a lover? Is the most common question of less charm
Almost everyone likes to see others happy. Asian culture and society always emphasizes the concept of marriage and family building. And because of this, people think it's okay to inquire about someone's relationship status.
The reality is that some love relationships are unhappy and unsuccessful for a variety of reasons. Therefore, sometimes the questioner accidentally brings back unpleasant memories to the respondent.
Instead, ask your loved one about the new and exciting things about their lives. Either the accomplishments of the year were made or the future plans, rather than focusing on just one aspect of the love affair.
2. "When are we going to get married / celebrate?" also a classic question less charming
Ginger Poag, a clinical psychotherapist, says the question that comes up at family gatherings can be awkward and uncomfortable.
Ms. Poag notes that generally when someone asks this question, they are probably just trying to talk. They want to know where your love is going and whether you two have chosen your wedding date yet.
However, it may difficult for the respondents if their relationship is a problem or he has yet to speak to suitors .
This is a very sensitive question. If a person is in a relationship instead, ask about the person's health or work.
If you are asked this question, don't be afraid to ask to change the subject or politely set a line by saying that you would rather talk about something else.
3. Did you lose / gain weight?
Complimenting or being disparaging about gaining or losing weight can have more lasting effects than people think.
Specifically, when complimenting weight loss, it can prove that what people are paying attention to or judging about is their looks. This can cause fear that if their weight regains, people will judge or think they look bad.
To compliment a person on successful weight loss, you can compliment them on how happy they look and ask about what makes them so radiant.
If you are asked this question, this is your way to prove that you do not live by the number on the scale. It is “Thank you, aunt / uncle / uncle, I am not sure whether to lose or gain weight. Because I don't really care about this matter. I am only interested in daily fun. Recently, how are you / aunts / uncle / uncle? ”
4. When will I have a baby? It is a question of poor charm that couples who have no children often receive
This unattractive question reflects social norms and expectations of someone. If the questioner doesn't know anything about the relationship status of an out-of-age couple, ask someone about having a baby that may not be interested in your wishes, plans or even your health. surname.
The truth is some people simply don't want to have children. Other people (many others) may be having difficulty getting pregnant. Some people may want to have children, but their financial situation does not yet permit. Getting pregnant and raising a child is not as simple as this question suggests.
Another similar question to avoid is asking a married couple who already have children when will they have another baby?
Some couples just want one baby, or just two or three. For others there is no choice either, or they are experiencing infertility.
5. Are you sure this is the right idea / decision?
This question expresses a fear of making big decisions in someone's life such as: changing jobs; wedding cancellation; organ donation; ...
Another good way to ask is' I / aunt / uncle / you are sure you have thought this through. What about health insurance, side effects, down payment, etc. ”
If you are asked and do not know how to answer, you can say "Thank you for your concern but I have thought it through carefully and believe that this is the right choice."
6. Want to eat again? Are you sure?
The answer to this question of immaturity can be summed up quite simply: Of course I / the child wants to eat more.
While this question may be with just good intentions, it does do some hurt. Especially for someone who is quite overweight or trying to lose weight.
Food during the holidays is very delicious and attractive. And it doesn't hurt to eat a little more in a while. Holidays means delicious, not possessed by demons.
7. Why not eat this dish?
During the holidays, the choice for delicious dishes is extremely diverse. However, there are some who choose not to eat it. And then, their personal eating decision should be respected because you don't know the specific motive behind this decision. Maybe the cause is an allergy or a medical condition that doesn't allow them to eat.
If you are interested or curious, try asking in a different way. For example: What made you decide to cut meat / bread / sugar?
If someone is probing or evaluating your health options, try simply answering that you feel that the option is best for your body. If you want, you can explain it to your family. But remember, you might not need to say much if you don't want to give an explanation.
Poorly charming questions can make family reunification less happy. At the same time, it also has the ability to cause friction, some solidarity within the family. So, be a civilized person to make the holidays more cozy.
See more:
4 tips for skin care at the end of the year party season for the women's union
How to have full fun when being alone on a holiday in an unfamiliar city?
15 unique and meaningful gift ideas for a newly loved couple