Despite the pain, but dont forget what to do after a miscarriage

Miscarriage is always a fear for couples preparing to be a parent and a psychological obsession for mothers who have had miscarriages. What is the rule of 12 weeks during pregnancy, after a miscarriage, what to do to quickly overcome the pain? Please refer to the article below!

The story of Jess 

Pregnancy is all Jess ever wanted after marrying Tom. Therefore, when the pregnancy test showed 2 bars, she could not hide the joy and glee in her heart. Jess also began to feel the presence of a small being in her womb. Because of following the 12-week pregnancy rule, she and her husband have not told anyone the symptoms she is experiencing, such as feeling heavier, feeling nauseous whenever she wakes up in the morning or after eating.

When Jess realized she had a miscarriage, she wasn't even passionate about life anymore because both physical and mental pain and guilt filled her mind. Only the couple knew about the miscarriage and they had to hide their sadness for themselves.

What is the rule of 12 weeks of pregnancy? 

If anyone has ever gone through a pregnancy perhaps no stranger to this rule. It is a long-standing rule that a woman should not say anything about pregnancy results for 12 weeks or even the first 15 weeks.

Chrissie Mesina, a nurse supervisor at Marguerite Gardens Hospital in California, thinks the first 3 months or 12 weeks are a very important period in pregnancy. The risk of miscarriage is very high at this stage and that's why many people just want to announce their pregnancy after going through this stage. In other words, pregnancy is usually kept hidden until it reaches a safe threshold. Because the probability of bad things happening is usually highest within the first 12 to 15 weeks.

The impact of this rule on people who have had a miscarriage

Some say that this rule makes a miscarriage more painful. Tiffany Elder, a writer and mother who has also had a miscarriage, writes on her personal blog that the good side of this rule is being able to keep miscarriages private, but on the contrary the pain will intensify. stop when you keep it for yourself without sharing it with others.

During these 12 weeks, a woman will experience two different levels of mixed emotions: the overwhelming joy and joy at the news that she is pregnant and then the extreme disappointment at the miscarriage. Of course, no one would know that but the woman who suffered.

The misery of having to hide the pregnancy at work

Symptoms of pregnancy appearing within the first 6 weeks will make it difficult for the pregnant woman to hide her co-workers who are always around. What if your boss asks why you go to the toilet every half hour? Not to mention the psychological changes caused by the hormonal changes during pregnancy or other.

After a miscarriage the woman does not dare to share it with anyone

When a person dies, we all deeply mourn, we hold a funeral and commemorate the deceased for the things that he did to the community. However, the fetus is already dead, and only you know this. If a woman has kept her pregnancy secret, that also means that she must keep the story of her miscarriage private.

Some people choose to keep the pain in their hearts because sometimes the pain is too difficult to share. Some feel that it is too early to share with others when the fetus has even died before birth. In other words, they fear that no one will acknowledge this death, so they keep their stories secret and always feel lonely, ashamed and blamed themselves.

What to do after a miscarriage?

Change your mindset, don't hide your sadness for yourself

The 12-week rule of invisible pregnancy creates a woman's inferiority complex about miscarriage. Everyone should be clear about two things: pregnancy is pregnancy and miscarriage is miscarriage. You don't have to share it if you don't want to, but you don't have to always keep your sadness hidden.

What to do after a miscarriage? Do chores to forget your sadness

A miscarriage is not just a simple physical loss. The degree of pain during a miscarriage varies from person to person. But what is certain is that when suffering a miscarriage, a woman needs a spiritual support. Even the coldest people need to find ways to express their feelings and thoughts. Besides things that keep your mind busy for a while, like taking a bath, cooking, walking around the house, or watching TV, it's better not to make yourself suffer by yourself.

After miscarriage, mothers need to share with others

Even if you are talking to someone who doesn't know what to say or has never experienced your story, sharing with that person can make your mood much better. Jess shared that just having someone by her side, saying random things like the weather, the house ... also helps her alleviate her sadness. Although at first she didn't want anyone around, Jess slowly realized the power of sharing.

If you have a miscarriage, talk to anyone who has had a miscarriage before as they will understand the pain you are going through.

You can join a community support group, maybe even online. Your experiences and stories will be spread to people in the same situation. It can be fun to help you through difficult times currently.

You need to overcome the psychological barrier "no one will understand you", when you feel free to talk, you will receive more support from others and you will not have to be lonely over the pain of a miscarriage.

Choosing who to talk to, how and when is your personal right because no one is the same.

Miscarriage is a sad experience and no one wants to repeat it. But keep in mind that many people have been in the same position as you and they have overcome it.

Relatives and friends should help women with miscarriage

Relatives and friends should be more open and sympathetic towards the person who has miscarried. If you don't know what to say, you should still be there. Let them cry or scream as long as it makes them feel better, then you can advise them "You can do it comfortably and without holding on to your heart".

Miscarriage is an experience no one in the world wants. There is nothing more unhappy than gleefully waiting for your baby to receive bad news. If unfortunately it happens to you or a loved one, do not hesitate to seek help and comfort from others, do not suffer the pain alone. Let's quickly overcome the pain to move on.

See more:

The signs of weak pregnancy should be very careful

Link between age and miscarriage in women

Vegetables and fruits increase the risk of miscarriage

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